


history obliterates

by poeticaid



Category: 18th Century CE RPF, Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-30
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-09-02 15:37:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16789813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poeticaid/pseuds/poeticaid
Summary: As Alexander Hamilton makes a decision to fire at Burr or aim it at the sky, he is met with the ghosts of the past, and walks down the memory lane filled with hurt and mirth.





	history obliterates

**Author's Note:**

> I'm too lazy to write all the facts about Hamilton's children  
> but have angst because i love angst.

As Burr fires the gunshot, it seems to stop in slow motion, as if giving it time for Hamilton to compose himself, to collect his thoughts before it hits him, or before it misses him. Hamilton's memories that he had erased from his mind come running back to him, like the bullet Burr had fired.

Hamilton stares at the bullet, indecisive. He reaches for his gun, but his hands feel numb, for some reason. He was a soldier, a soldier with a marksman's ability, one of the men who lead an army through the Battle of Yorktown. And he was now hesitating. Why? For Burr? He was his first friend, but his enemy. Hamilton looks at Burr, but all he sees is a mask of anger, and sadness?

He wonders; what would have happened if he had drowned in the natural storm surges of that damned hurricane who destroyed his town when he was seventeen? He would've died, he decided. No one out there will be able to continue his legacy. What would've happened if he had faced those British head on, with guns and bullets, his body full of determination and adrenaline? He would've died, without a legacy, without seeing Philip Hamilton.

Hamilton thinks back to his other children, and how they have grown. His dear, sweet, Philip, died just at the age of nineteen. Betsey really did teach him all the things Hamilton could not teach the child. What kind of father would give him such an advice as to shoot in the sky? Angelica Hamilton, sweet, sweet Angie. After her beloved brother's death, her mind resumed the state of a child, always talking about Philip, always conversing with thin air, as if it was Philip. Hamilton cannot save her from her endless fall to insanity.

Hamilton remembers the other children he and Betsey sired. Alexander Hamilton Jr., a boy whose looks were reminiscent to him, which was why he was named after him. He feels remorse as AJ's graduation was coming near; and he will not be there to see it. James Alexander Hamilton, who was also still studying, will never get to see his father's face again after this duel has concluded. John Church Hamilton, named after Angelica Schuyler Church's spouse. He had asked his dear son if he would like to sleep with him last night, and he had obliged. In the morning, they had prayed together, before Hamilton goes to the duel. William Stephen Hamilton, was still an innocent six year old, and his birthday was a month after this mess he was in. Eliza Hamilton, just a young girl at the age of five. She was sickly as an infant, but Hamilton finds solace in the girl when he starts to spend time with his family. Philip the Second, named after the dead brother he'll meet whenever he ascends to Heaven. And Hamilton realized that he will never remember his own father.

He remembers the Caribbean, its fresh and frequent calm sea calming his mind. He remembers how strong the sea's waves were when there was a storm. He remembers how they reached the top of their house, and kept rising higher and higher. He had remembered the destruction those wretched waves caused, and the deaths it had made.

Hamilton remembers the smell of their old house. It was a rundown and unhygienic house, but it was the only thing his poor parents can afford, so it was enough for him and his older brother, James. He can remember the sickly smells, the smells of intoxicated beverages lining up in their home, and the sounds the glass creates once it crashes to the ground, of the rough bed he has to sleep in.

He remembers how he was orphaned, left alone in a world of misery just after losing his mother. His mother's face, tainted with sickness, keeps on smiling until her death. Hamilton, after that, was quite distraught that his own mother died. He forces himself up, and started to read the various books littered around the streets, as he prepares to look for a job to keep himself out of harm's way.

His days spent in the Caribbean were scamming, stealing, and begging for any book he can get his hands on, and trades sugar cane and everything he can afford. He starts to work and clerk for his late mother's landlord, not caring about how tired his body was, he needed to rise up. Hamilton has witnessed his own people sold into slavery, much to his anger, which inspired him to create countless of essays against slavery.

He can feel a scowl settling on his mouth. Hamilton will never understand why such rich individuals would keep black men and women in their servitude, for the rest of their lives. They had never deserved this. But even his essays were fallen on blind eyes. People just care about their own selfish desires, after all. Only John Laurens understood his frustrations of slavery.

Oh, John Laurens. His smile can make Alexander Hamilton forget his problems. Those intimate touches he and John had, in their own tent, their discreet way of hiding their secret in fear of being executed for sodomy. He was devastated when he had found out about his dearest John's death. He had only written a few passages regarding his death, which was unlikely of Hamilton. He was a man writes like he's running our of time.

And Betsey, his sweet, sweet Betsey. He does not deserve such a magnificent woman, of her dedication towards her, of her sweetness and smile. He remembers the devastation and destruction the Reynolds Pamphlet had caused in their household like a hurricane, and the burnt letters in the fireplace. Hamilton smiles at the thought of him and Betsey in bed after all this.

As he looks up, he sees the ghosts of those whom he loved. John Laurens, leading an army of ghost soldiers, Philip, smiling down at his father, Hamilton's mother on his side. George Washington, the commander he had always deemed as someone superior, someone he would not dare cross his boundaries with, was watching him on the other side.

Hamilton can feel tears coming out of his eyes, all of his regrets, achievements coming back to him like a wave. The Reynolds Pamphlet. His marriage to Betsey. The Cabinet Meetings. And Aaron Burr.

Suddenly, he is back at the present, the grass green, the wind whistling behind his ears, the sun about to rise. He looks at Burr, and, he has finally made the decision that was going to set his legacy and history to the end.

"He aims his pistol at the sky!"

"Wait!"


End file.
